Misunderstanding Courage
by history-writer86
Summary: Something happens between Casey and Sammy and neither of them understand what is happening to their lives. Who knew that Sammy was lost for words or her own conviction? Who knew Casey would be torn by her actions?


_Hello everyone! So, this is very melancholy and took a way different twist than I expected. Just be prepared for what is to come. There is angst involving numerous people. And I believe the title is correct. Sammy takes a blow to the heart. But this isn't her point-of-view. You'll figure it out soon enough. Enjoy. And you may cry. I nearly did writing this. But that's because this was inspired by the song by Matchbox 20 _If Your Gone.

* * *

**Misunderstanding Courage **

I sat down, my mind spinning, not understanding what was happening to me. My heart seemed out of tune, like an old instrument that could never be repaired. The floor spun below me, but somehow I managed to keep my balance. This was not how I pictured my senior year of high school. I caught my breath, waiting, waiting for the tune to pick back up again.

Time passed, with me just sitting in the chair, waiting for reality to catch up with me. I had fought so desperately, just as she had said. I came in just a little too late, after the past settled in. I had hoped, hoped that after all of this time she would have felt something, a _spark_ (like how it was back in junior high), a _connection _(just like in sophomore year when we both lamented over our messed up families that seemed bent on tearing apart our sanity and each other), but now, I didn't know what would happen next. The memories seared back into my brain, as they had been for the past few hours…

* * *

"Listen, Casey, you know I'm right. The evidence is right here. She doesn't love you, she never has," Heather had been talking to me, _persuading_ me and turning me against my two year girlfriend, Sammy. I had tried to push her off the subject for days and finally she was able to corner me, saying that Sammy had been cheating on me, with one of my friends. I told her that was impossible, that she would never do that. Later that day, I had plans to meet her and I planned to tell her that Heather was at it again, trying to pull us apart. The problem was, Sammy was already there, pulling away from me.

"Casey, I'm sorry. I just need to figure things out right now. I'm really sorry. I'll explain everything later. My life is just—it's not going well right now and I need to be alone," She said, not even looking at me. Not even letting me see a hint of sorrow, or worse, regret…

* * *

Regret.

Did I have any regrets by being with her? I couldn't tell. My mind was chaos, wondering what would happen next. I had remained in the park, where we met just hours before, when the sun was still shining. My phone buzzed in my pocket, the first time I had registered any hint of the outside world. I opened my phone to see I had three missed calls and five texts. One was from Heather, demanding to know where I was and two from my dad. Three of the texts were from Marissa. And two were from Sammy. What did she want?

I skipped over her messages and read Marissa's. She wanted to know where I was, why I wasn't responding and that I needed to call her or Sammy. I didn't understand what all these women wanted from me. I was just one guy, one person who didn't want to get hurt. Was that so hard to believe? My phone buzzed in my hand, displaying an unknown number. I answered, blindly, numbly.

"Hello?"

"Casey? This is Hudson. I need you to come over to my house, right now if you could. I know This is short notice and--," Hudson sounded urgent and concerned.

'"What's going on? Is everything okay?" I knew something was wrong, something that had to do with Sammy and even though she broke things off because of her—lover, affair, whatever she had, I still cared about her and _loved _her (God, did I love her. Her personality, her genuity, her wit, her passion—her life).

"She didn't tell you? She told me she was meeting up with you. I was surprised when you didn't meet us at the hospital," Hudson's voice sounded far away, so very far away.

"The hospital?"

"Yes, Sammy's grandmother is sick. It's been like this for a few days, but when I went to visit her she had an elevated fever. You need to come over to the house. Sammy is beside herself," Hudson said quietly and I quickly told him I'd be there and hung up.

I was sprinting, having given up my skateboard as my main method of transporation. I had a car, but I didn't have it now. The past few days, I had been with mom and Heather, for family bonding before Graduation. I was on Cypress Street in a matter of minutes and on Hudson's porch where he was waiting patiently.

"She told me she doesn't want you to see her like this," He mumbled to me as he studied my face closely.

"Oh, yeah, I can only imagine why," I mumbled right back.

"Did something happen between you two?"

"You could say that. Do you want me to help or not?"

"Not if you don't want to," Hudson said kindly. He was watching out for my well being. No one had done that, no one but Sammy.

"How can you say that? Why would I leave the girl I love in sadness?" I had stretched it a bit. I hadn't told anyone I loved her, not even Sammy herself. I shuddered and looked Hudson square in the eye.

"Okay then. Come in," Hudson beckoned me into his house and to Sammy, who was huddled on the couch. Marissa was there, watching me, her eyes pleading me to help.

"Sammy, c'mere," I said as I sat right next to her, ignoring the tug in my heart that she didn't want me here.

"Casey. I'm so s—sorry for telling you to leave me alone. I just didn't kn—know how to handle thi—s. I just thought I needed space to deal with what's happening," She choked out. I cocked my head at her, stroking her long hair steadily.

"What do you mean?" I said softly, as Hudson and Marissa ducked out of the room and onto the porch to give us privacy.

"I wasn't trying to end things with you. I could—could never do that. I—I love you. And I just don't know what to do if Grams doesn't—doesn't," tears engulfed Sammy's grey, startling eyes and I held her close, feeling a mixture of sadness and pure joy flooding my heart.

Sammy loved me.

Her grandmother was ill.

She _loved me_.

* * *

Three long days later, three heart wrenching, painful days later Sammy's beloved grandmother passed away. I did all I could to stay with Sammy, to comfort her, to support her as she fell to pieces. Pieces over her grandmother, over what she would do next.

There were offers, so many offers for her to live here and there. Officer Borsch gave her houseroom, as did Marissa and even Holly and Dot with their cramped room. I considered it, but I knew my father would not cave in to such a request. A boy and a girl, who were dating, would not fly with him under his roof. Finally, Hudson quietly took her home with him, waiting to sort through the legal matters. He and Sammy's grandmother had married just two years before and had been living together, along with Sammy, and his home was practically her's anyway before then.

The funeral, the funeral was modest and melancholy. Sammy was finally able to speak after so much time of closing up.

"My Grams, my Grams was a wonderful, loving person. We had our troubles, our lies throughout the years, the biggest one involving a drawer full of my clothes and a small backpack that held my belongings in the senior building. I would gallvant off, trying to solve whatever case Santa Martina had thrown at me and a few of those times, my Grams, in the high-tops I bought her, would help me. The thrill of us working together and just spending time together in that small, cozy apartment meant everything to me, to us.

"What meant the most was when Hudson finally, finally caved and asked her on a date. She was glowing the whole week before and the days after. Soon, they continue to spend more and more time together until they had a civil wedding with just me and the mayor as witnesses. My Grams took care of me when my mother couldn't (_A/N: Sammy's mother is out of the picture. She hasn't returned to Santa Martina since she broke things off with Warren.) _and she was my rock. The one who kept me going, the one who will keep me going.

"I will never forget you Grams. I love you," She said to the urn softly and came back to me. I hugged her tightly as we both, as the whole Church began to cry silently for the woman who touched so many hearts was gone, gone from this life, but still in our hearts for years to come.

* * *

All of that happened over ten years ago. Not a day passes by when Sammy doesn't think of her grandmother. Not a day passes where I don't think of her. She always treated me as a almost grandson, as someone who was family and always welcome to her and Hudson's home. She was always kind to me, but the best thing she could have given me was the fact that she raised Sammy. On the same note, not a day goes by when Sammy reminds me that she loves me.

How could I have thought she didn't love me?


End file.
